What is ethical non-monogamy?

More than one relationship, openly, with everyone's consent.

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationships where people have more than one romantic or sexual partner, and everyone involved knows and agrees. The "ethical" part is the honesty and consent; that's what separates it from cheating.

The main shapes

• Polyamory: more than one loving relationship at the same time. The focus is usually on connection and commitment, not only sex.
• Open relationship: a couple who are each free to have sexual or casual connections with other people.
• Swinging: couples who play with other people, often together and often at parties or clubs.
• Relationship anarchy: no built-in hierarchy or rules; each relationship is shaped by the people in it.
• Triads and polycules: a triad is three people in a relationship together. A polycule is the whole network of people connected through their relationships.

Non-monogamy is a spectrum. Some people are all about connection and relationships, others are drawn more to physical exploration with one or a few partners, and most are somewhere in between.

What makes it work

• Honesty: everyone knows what's going on.
• Consent: agreements are made together and can be revisited.
• Communication: talking about feelings, boundaries and jealousy, not avoiding them.
• Respect for each person, not just for "the couple".

Is it for me?

Monogamy isn't wrong; it's a choice, and so is non-monogamy. If you're curious, the best next step is meeting people who live it. Our free London Poly Munch is a relaxed evening in a bar where you can ask questions with no pressure. Curious and monogamous people are welcome.